


Someday is Today

by KeeperofSeeds



Series: femslashficlets - queer women’s lit [6]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Addiction, Angst, Blanket Permission, Canon Bisexual Character, Established Relationship, F/F, Femslash February, Hurt/Comfort, Lyrium Addiction, Lyrium Withdrawal, Templars (Dragon Age)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:15:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22998304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KeeperofSeeds/pseuds/KeeperofSeeds
Summary: Tess Trevelyan, after years of denial, comes to terms with her lyrium addiction and her need for help
Relationships: Cullen Rutherford & Female Trevelyan, Female Inquisitor/Josephine Montilyet, Josephine Montilyet/Female Trevelyan
Series: femslashficlets - queer women’s lit [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1596880
Comments: 1
Kudos: 14





	Someday is Today

**Author's Note:**

> 7- That conversation we were always on the edge / of having, runs on in my head. Adrienne Rich, Twenty-One Love Poems

She regrets that they never really talked about it. Cullen had shared his reservations and she, in her arrogance, had brushed them all away. Now Josie sits at her side in the evenings and says nothing as her hands shake too much to bring a spoon to her own lips. She says nothing as Tess is late for their brunch together. Responsibilities having slipped her mind like so much water from a cracked glass.

This should have been something they acknowledged long ago, but everything in the beginning had seemed so dire. This was only one more thing. Something put off thinking too hard about, or pushed permanently to the Someday category. 

There were times before when she didn't expect to reach Someday. 

Only at night do the worries and fears come pouring out. Tess curled on her side, wrapped under too many blankets, even though the autumn is only beginning, and Josie curled around her, face pressed against her neck. Here, in the dark nest of their bed, they can talk. Tess can admit her regrets. The fear that she does not have the strength to pay this cost she once thought worth it. Sorrow for ignoring her commander's warnings. Josie wipes bitter tears away, and shares her own heart's heaviness. "I should have noticed you were struggling sooner," she whispers into the darkness.

* * *

Josie announces the next morning, that she's taking the week off. Tess fights back her first reaction of embarrassment and shame, the thoughts of: _weak_ and _stupid_ , that flash through her mind, the worry that she's become a burden. She fights those back and thinks of a week spent curled together in bed; slow mornings together and no rushing about the docks with the noise and overwhelming smells, no politicking together at balls or meeting with allies to discuss the latest news Leliana has sent. She thinks of walking along the water arm in arm, when it was warm enough, and of playing cards inside when it was not. Perhaps even a visit to the nearby country spa and bathes. Perhaps a soak will help with the perpetual chill she's developed in her bones. 

As she begins to pack, Josie also encourages her to write to Cullen. Leliana, Divine Victoria nowadays, had granted him land and funds after her election. Josie assures Tess that their former Commander has done good work after the Inquisition's disbanding.   
"Writing now will leave you mind freer to enjoy our time together." 

Tess flinches at the idea at first. Will her Commander throw her own arrogance back in her face? Will he refuse to help, no longer feeling obligated or bound into her service? She'd gladly given up her role in the Inquisition after the mess of the Council and Orlais.  
She hadn't wrote to the others much over the years, first too busy healing and getting use to having one arm, then she was settling into live in Antiva and reveling in the relative anonymity of her days. Would he resent her for her silence? 

Well, she's faced worst than one soldier's judgement before, and if something can help her take away the worried furrow between Josie's eyebrows, it will be worth it. It's time to face her struggles head on. Her troubles would not improve on their own, and things would only get worse the longer she left it. She could not let Josephine see her continue to deteriorate. Couldn't bare to see her guilt and pity. She would fight this. With Josephine at her side, Tess silently vowed she would fight against this addiction. Whatever the cost. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm in the middle of a play through where my butch babe 2 handed warrior Inquisitor is romancing Josie. I've never played as a warrior before and was kind of surprised at the Specialization choices available. I figured Templar was a rational in character choice for a faithful Inky with a family history tied to the Chantry and who ended up siding with the Templars. She is fighting mages after all. But oh man Cullen's comments when you choose that are heartbreaking, especially if it's not long after you encourage him to stop taking lyrium. Your Inquisitor can be really arrogant about it and basically imply she/he is stronger or more faithful than Cullen for making this sacrifice and keeping up with taking lyrium. It hurt. Cullen really tries his best to down talk it and whelp, the angst of this scenario of a post Trespasser Inquisitor struggling with her choices started to take shape


End file.
